It Doesn't Have to Be the Best...Always

Stories is one of the first things which we are taught, perhaps even while still in the womb. I know that when I was pregnant I read to my babies. It was fun, engaging and helped my emotional connection with the unborn baby I was growing. So a STORY is not just a bunch of words, it is entertainment...

it is enrichment...

it is learning...

it is growth...

it is well...time, well spent.

And speaking of time, have you heard of the ancient story about Alexander the Great? Well, that story is one of my very favorite which I think of often and reference frequently. 

Just in case you haven't heard, allow me the honor of telling you.

Alexander the Great was a mighty warrior who lived many years ago. He became quite famous for conquering several Countries by many Wars. 
Along the way many miles from home Alexander the Great fell ill and lay upon his death bed. Having so, he called upon his Generals to give his last wishes. 

"First, I want only the finest surgeons of all the country to carry my casket.
Secondly, I want my hands to be hanging openly for all to see.
Third, I want all of my wealth - the rubies and anything I have to be scattered freely behind the funeral procession for all."

The Generals looked amongst each other aghast. They were all in shock of they just heard. Finally, the most trusted General asked Alexander the Great, "Sir, Why do ask of us these three things?"

To which Alexander the Great replied,
"First, I want everyone to know that when it is your time, not even the finest surgeon's can SAVE you.
Secondly, I want everyone to see that as you come into this life with empty hands, you also leave this life with EMPTY hands.
Last, I want everyone who comes to my funeral to realize the only thing we have which has any value is our TIME...so spend it wisely."

Interesting perspective and thought provoking isn't it?

I have personally spent many hours reading countless books and even more hours watching TV. My favorite author is Wally Lamb. One of his books is 'The Hour I First Believed'. I can't say it was his best, yet it was good. I won't apologize for having spent those hours reading his book. I spend several hours watching ID channel, 'Investigation Discovery'. Some of it I agree with...okay, most of it I do and find entertaining. I won't apologize to myself for spending those hours watching that either.

Should I apologize to my body though for hours I'm sitting their watching TV instead of doing physical activity?

I think not because I am a Christian and my body is but a vessel that I must be entombed in while on earth. However, I do nothing to excess. I do not eat in excess, I do not drink in excess, I do not watch TV in excess, I do not exercise in excess, I do not work in excess, I do not read in excess, I do not read in excess, I do not pray in excess, I do not avoid in excess.

So, in speaking of 'excess'...lets address that. Ladies, men do not care if you are 20 pounds in excess or not. You really shouldn't either. Love yourselves.

Be Yourself, No Matter What the Cost

Sometimes when I first wake up a brilliant thought comes to mind immediately, or at least what I believe to be brilliant. Since I don't keep a paper and pen next to my bed, I grab my phone and send myself a text message because I know I will forget it later. Also, even though my two best friends adore me for my weirdness, even they would find a random text from me like that particularly odd...so I must send it to myself.

Anyway, later on when I wake up better and have more time I can think about it and write. I decided to start blogging again instead of just doing Facebook status updates. I'm a writer. It is what I love. If nobody reads it, I don't care. I've written nine books and have been encouraged to publish for profit but I don't want to. Its not from fear of rejection because believe me, I've endured plenty of that. In fact, that attributes partly to why I am not a coward and I am able to be genuinely myself. 

Which brings me to the thought I had the other morning, "If people do not learn how to be content with what they have, they will never be happy, no matter how much they ever get."

I realized this can apply to ALL matters in life including professional endeavors, personal relationships and self image.

What does it matter if you earn a six figure income, live in your dream home, have a perfect body and married to a really nice person who you raise lovely and talented children with, IF you are still running around like some mad person searching for a better, more desirable and more rewarding existence? 

I'll answer in Part II...

What Makes You Special

Have you ever thought about what is it that sets yourself apart from everyone else? You may ask yourself, "What is it exactly that makes me so special? What is it about me that makes my mom and dad think I'm so great anyway?"

You may think, 'My friends tell me I'm smart and important.'

The reason I am led to write this today is because after years of observation on social media and life experience its become obvious that none of us are particularly unique or "special" in our own right. In fact, we are all so much the same that it is sickening.

You probably noticed it when you were first realizing that you were an individual, separate from your parents and attempting to express yourself - only to realize that during your futile efforts, a bunch of other people also did the same things you did. You thought they were "copying" you, but truth is...they were just trying to express themselves too. 

If you are a good photographer - guess what, somebody else you know is also a good photographer. If you are a writer, I bet you know at least two or three other writers. If you are a fashion designer, there are plenty of them too. There are lots of computer geniuses, gaming nerds, science geeks, math whizzes, musicians and artists each and all are better and more successful the last.

Clearly what you do does not make you special so perhaps its your personality, right? Wrong.

If you are funny, their will always be somebody funnier than you. If you are outgoing, their will always be somebody more awesome than you. If you are shy, I promise their is somebody else out there who has less Facebook friends than you. 

If you say something which you think is unique, think again - it has already been said. There are NO unique quotes anymore. Your personality holds no merit to anyone who does not personally know you.

Having said that, that is exactly what makes you special - the people who know you. To THEM, you are special.

So hold those relationships close and don't hurt them. Honor your parents. Be good to your friends. Be kind to your neighbors. Respect your elders. Respect yourself.

Singleness

He goes to weddings...always as a guest, never as the groom. He takes gifts to the bride and groom...but has not been gifted with a bride of his own. Some of his friends have established careers and nice homes. He, on the other hand, owns no home and is just beginning a new career with meager finances. When visiting his married friends, he holds their children and spends time with them. They are drawn to him, though he has no children of his own.
He is a virile man with natural sexual desires, a man who experiences true temptation. He is a man of spiritual commitment that keeps him from sexual involvement outside of marriage. His spiritual depth leads him to fully support his churches position on sexual abstinence for those unmarried.
He is regarded by some in his community as different...a misfit...not conforming to societys norm. However, he is intelligent, verbally gifted, and more than able to hold his own in community debates. He is not afraid to express his thoughts and feelings publicly...not ashamed to shed a tear among friends.
He is a content, confident man who knows who he is and what he wants, yet he does experience times of intense lonliness and longing. Typically, he is not thoughtt of in this way, but this single man's name is Jesus.
(An excerpt from a book by June Hunt)

If Only More People Could be as BRAVE as Tim Tebow!

Tim Tebow’s viewpoint on life is a refreshing change in a heavily polluted media surrounding societies lifestyles of Liberal vs. Christian and the media's determination to discourage others from following a godly path. Despite what people may admit, the media has a significant role in establishing the trends of popular culture. Unfortunately, it is apparent the mainstream media emphasizes Christian’s to be closed-minded, judgmental and old fashioned while the less religious types (most generally Liberals and Democrats) are considered open-minded, politically correct individuals who are current with the times. It is for this reason I monitor what is watched in my home and what is listened to in my car. I like to maintain my own perspective rather than allow an out sourced opinion of someone else to subconsciously make an impression on me. In this way I can tap into my own creativity and express opinions that are uniquely my own. If only more people could be like Tim Tebow and allow themselves to express their own politically incorrect opinions. But then again, it does takes courage to stand alone with an unpopular opinion. I would encourage anyone to watch the attached YouTube video (by clicking on the title of this blog) and to follow Mr. Tebow’s career going forward.
How creative God is to use this nation’s most widely watched and closely followed sporting event to exalt His name! The Tebow perspective can be practiced by anyone. For example, if what you do for a living is a stay at home mom, sweep the floors, do the dishes, tend to your children…all for God’s glory. If what you do for a living is perhaps more public, live a lifestyle that sets an example for others. You will be ministering to them and they won’t even know it!
I think father's in particular may benefit from reading Tebow's new book titled, "Through My Eyes" which should be interesting enough to capture the attention of men and maintain their attention; after all, it IS about football...right?

Life is a Little Bit Real...a Little Bit Not...and All about Perception

When I spend time in personal meditation, I'm always taken to a peaceful place in my dreams...the countryside of Ireland. Why does this place which I have never actually ventured to seem to hold serenity for me I wonder? Perhaps because it is somewhere I have never been and thus reality has not pocessed my ideal of Ireland. For example, I saw the ocean for the first time when I was about twenty-one years old. I knew of the ocean before then of course, only from television and movies. Because my pre-conceived ideal of the ocean was that of flawless sun tanned beauties, I had prepared myself to get there and see just that...but strangely enough, the people whom visited the beach on the same days as I, were not that of perfectly toned women in their early twenties but rather, ordinary women who looked like me...or 'gasp' not quite as good looking as me. So, shall I ruin my pre-conceived ideal's of Ireland and visit this country...or shall I keep my prestine Ireland country-side exactly that...prestine? This isn't much different than the pre-conceived notions of a child hoping to one day meet her 'knight in shining armor' only to discover in dating; there is no knight, much less shining armor to recognize him by. So, I guess life has its ways of disappointing us...without doing anything to be rationale cause for disappointment. In having made these observations as it relates to realistic life versus dream life, I can only assume true happiness is but simply a state of perseption. Well in THAT case...let the happiness continue and emerge one moment at a time, one day at a time, one year at a time and do not look back.

Still, far from perfect....

So, every now and then I post a blog entry about my walk with the Lord and how that is going. Its nothing fancy, I’m not a religious nut or anything like that. My life has its ups and downs just as everyone does and I am far from perfect…but anyway here goes.

I was reading a book titled “Celebration of Discipline” which is an intriguing study about learning how to meditate the Christian way and other disciplines to put ones self before God in an effort to seek Him so you may develop a more intimate relationship with God.

Bible in Basic English
“And you will be searching for me and I will be there, when you have gone after me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

I find the more I expose myself to God the more I consciously think about God and therefore, the more Christ-like I become. For example, making simple choices to live righteously such as, listening to Christian radio versus secular radio, praying before each meal consistently, praying with the girls before we tuck them in at night, reading Christian literature instead of fictional novels. Watching what I am exposed to on TV, the internet and in movies. I am taking precautions for protecting myself from the harsh realities of the world basically.

Now, when an irritant arises which poses an opportunity to be less than Christ-like, I am better prepared. I have been practicing a God centered life, so I stop and think about situations and respond to them instead of reacting to them. I think about the other person instead of making presumptions.

You may have noticed I did not mention going to church. We do attend church once a week on Sunday mornings which is very fulfilling to us but going to church is not a requirement for having a close relationship with our Heavenly Father.

Developing a routine has made all the difference. I am able to focus carefully on child rearing, including proper instruction and discipline. I am fully functional in all capacities that I am supposed to be doing without being overdrawn on my personal limitations and therefore I need not sacrifice on being thorough. I am NOT stretched too thin.

In Divorce Care class, which I attended at a former church I regularly attended and loved…they inform all us single people that one does not need anyone else to complete them because an individual is whole without a partner. I believed that then but I knew it was God’s plan for me to have a partner again one day. Now, I contemplate what Divorce Care taught and know in the bible it says God saw Adam was alone and it was not good.

A Day in the Life of Dick and Jane

I found this poem in an old book from 1983 titled, "Why I Hate Men."

I think it accurately describes the typical marriage relationship as the majority of my life has been commited to one man on two separate occassions. Since I have the benefit of having been married and divorced twice, I can provide accurate details based on life experience for what is common. Hope you enjoy...

6 a.m.
See Jane wake up.
Up, Jane, up.
See Jane clean the
bathroom.
Ugh, ugh, ugh.
And do her exercises.
Puff, puff, puff.

See Dick roll over
and go back to sleep.
Sleep, sleep, sleep.

8 a.m.
See Jane cook.
Cook, cook, cook.
See Dick and Dickie, Jr.
Eat, eat, eat.

See Jane finish cooking.
See Dick finish eating.

8:45 a.m.
See Dick go to work.
See Jane take Dickie to school
before she goes to
Work, work, work.

Work, Jane, work.

3 p.m.
See the Day Care call Jane
because Dickie doesn't feel well.
Sick, Dickie, sick.

Hear Jane's boss
complain
because Jane has to leave early.

See Dick sit behind his desk
in his office.
Sit, Dick, sit.

See Jane take Dickie home.
Nurse, nurse, nurse.
See Jane run to the store.
Shop, shop, shop.

6:00 p.m.
See Dick come home.
Dick is tired.
See Dick lie down.
Snooze, Dick, snooze.

See Jane cook.
See Dick eat.
See Dickie, Jr. eat.
Soup, soup, soup.

8:30 p.m.
See Jane wash dishes.
See Jane do laundry.
See Jane wax floors.
See Dick watch television.

10:00 p.m.
Dishes, dishes, dishes.
Laundry, laundry, laundry.
Floors, floors, floors.

See Dick read a book.
Read, read, read.
Snooze, snooze, snooze.
Television, television, television.
Eat, eat, eat.
Sleep, sleep, sleep.

12 Midnight
Bed, Jane, bed.
Hurry up and sleep.
It's almost
dawn, dawn, dawn.

6 a.m.
Oh, my, Jane, Dick is
horny, horny, horny.
Again, again, again.

See Dick and Jane play.
Pant, pant, pant.

6:30 a.m.
Watch Jane get
up, up, up.
While Dick goes back to
sleep, sleep, sleep.

See Jane
Ugh, ugh, ugh.
Puff, puff, puff.
Cook, cook, cook.
Nurse, nurse, nurse.
Work, work, work.
Shop, shop, shop.
Errands, errands, errands.
Run, run, run.

Faster, Jane, faster.
Or Dick might get
bored, bored, bored.

And find another woman he
likes better than you.

And you might get a
divorce, divorce, divorce.

Wouldn't that be
awful?

My hope for your home is not like this example but if it is...

See Jane
pray, pray, pray.
See Dick
grow, grow, grow.
See Dickey
learn, learn, learn.

In HIS time.

God never gave up on US...lets never give up on HIM.

God created man in HIS IMAGE. We have all heard that haven't we? It is one of those basic biblical facts taught in Sunday school when we are little children. BUT...have we REALLY heard it?
I know I always thought about “His image” in comparison with myself as, “Okay that's cool, I look like God.” But oh no!! That is not exactly what is meant in its entirety about how we have been created in His image.
I ask the reader to consider this: God created a whole lot of awesomeness but He created man in HIS IMAGE. That doesn't mean just in appearance that also means we have similar emotions. Additionally, just as God presides over the Heaven's; He has granted man with the authority for presiding over the Earth. None of His other creations have been granted such a privilege. What an honorable position to be in.
Can you believe it that God trusts us so much that he grants full authority over the Earth to man!? You know what that means don't you? GOD HAS FAITH IN US! He never gave up His faith in us either, EVEN AFTER man fell into sin. God STILL believed in us so much so that He sent His one and only son, Jesus to walk the Earth sinless and ultimately sacrifice His life for us. God literally created a loop hole for us because He believes in us so much.
Holy cow! I get chills thinking about that, and here is why...
As we know, based on life experiences in parenting and career, anyone with authority has a huge responsibility! When I go downstairs and my daughters remain upstairs, my 7 year old daughter asks, “Mommy, am I in charge?” I answer, “Yes, you are in charge.”
She gains a sense of pride knowing I trust her to ensure my 3 year old daughter doesn't do something stupid while I am not around.
How awesome it is to think of ourselves from God's perspective...He trusts us so much that we are responsible for ALL of His other creations. Take a look at this verse and think about that.

“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends IF you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.” John 15:13-15

God has put us in charge and we must take accountability for this responsibility.
We are literally amidst a Spiritual warfare during our own walk's on Earth. Praise God we are not exposed to the same public ridicule for what we believe in this Country as in many Countries however, never doubt for a moment...we are indeed involved in a War.
I am so thankful for my friends, both the friends I encounter about my walk in the secular environment and my friends at church.

GOD knew that everyone needs
companionship and cheer,
He knew that people need someone
whose thoughts are always near.

He knew they need someone kind
to lend a helping hand.
Someone to gladly take the time
to care and understand.

GOD knew that we all need someone
to share each happy day,
to be a source of courage
when troubles come our way.

Someone to be true to us,
whether near or far apart.
Someone whose love we’ll always
hold and treasure in our hearts.

That’s Why GOD Gave Us Friends.
(Author unknown)

I have limited knowledge but God grants me understanding the closer I grow in relationship with Him...our personal, intimate relationship...just Him and me.The potential for my knowledge is unstoppable because I have tapped into a intimate friendship with the source!!

“[Ask, Seek, Knock] "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”- Matthew 7:7-8

I encounter many people out there on this Spiritual battlefield and although I am nothing more than a young warrior in my walk of faith, I can make a difference by sharing what I do know with the others and by conducting my life in such a way that REPRESENTS. I can teach others what its like to be a Believer and leave them completely unaware they were just informed. Its about consistency and to have that stability takes MUCH effort by reconnecting with my Father in Heaven daily. After all, we encounter Satan daily don't we? Sadly, often people do not even realize they are under attack by Satan. We are all in a different place in our individual walks of faith with the Lord.
We all know that teamwork has its challenges and we have heard the phrase, “There is no I in team.” Many times conflict arises among team members therefore resulting in drama.
Why is it that if teamwork is so difficult do employer's keep running business in this way? Well I'm glad you asked because there are answers! The benefit of teamwork is so great that it far outweighs the negative aspects.
Working together in a combined effort toward a common goal offers the exchange of idea's and affords us the opportunity to learn from each other and meet goals more efficiently and with a better final result. Truly intelligent people realize they do not already know everything.
Because this is the case in the business world, perhaps it is the same from a Spiritual perspective? True, being inside of a church makes us no more Christian than being inside of a garage makes us car's but we NEED our friends at church who are further a long in their walks of faith so we can ask questions and learn from them. We also need them for support because a re-connection with in our church family reminds us we are not alone!
It is no different than coming home to the warm embrace of a spouse and telling him or her about your day. My hope for your home is peace, love, contentment. Home is where you can lay aside the harsh, cruel, exhaustion from your walk in the world (the battlefield) and recuperate for the next day (battle).
As my Pastor once put it, “Is it no wonder Satan attacks relationships so much? We NEED each other so we can be prepared to do God's work.”
Men and women are designed in His Image AND, we are designed for EACH OTHER. Complimentary strengths and weaknesses that when combined are unstoppable. Do you think Satan wants God to win? Absolutely not...
I have been dating some and during this process find many areas for opportunities in ministry. Unfortunately, temptation presents itself for my own sinful nature to be challenged as well. I go out there with the best intentions but faced with temptation along the way. It reminds me of one of the Twelve Steps from the Celebrate Recovery ministry: “We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”
“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall!” 1 Corinthians 10:12
We all have weaknesses...no human is immune. Each time a temptation arises, I just know if I can get past it my relationship with God will improve. He and me will become even closer, even stronger.
I spoke with a couple of Godly girlfriends about my weaknesses and gained insight from them. One told me if I feel that I am unable to get past the weakness I should pray like this, “God, I can't do this by myself. Please help.” She said God wants me to ask Him for help and I know she is right but I needed her to remind me and provide some direction.Many times when we are in the midst of our own dilemma the path is unclear. We need our support group and trusting accountability partners to slap us out of it occasionally. Satan never makes temptation easy to resist...it is always appealing. One must be willing to acknowledge our flaws! 
Step One: "We admit we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable." I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18
Now I think about my weakness in this way - if I can be faithful to a man for 12 years during our dating and marriage, I should certainly be able to remain faithful to God. After all, God is fulfilling the husband position in my life at this time. In order for me to be the wife God intends for me to be someday I must be faithful to God first and foremost.
So, having said all of that to say – we need our church family and if you haven't found a church home please consider joining me where I go. We laugh, we cry but we never judge. The Pastor is so good at making every individual feel comfortable and welcome and he wants everyone to understand church is not for the sinless but rather...church is a hospital for the hurt.
How many of us have been brokenhearted due to marriages that end in divorce and the resulting baggage is loss of faith in marriage? Many, many men have given up hope on marriage and it is no longer considered sacred. Lets not forget who designed marriage...GOD DID. 
A friend of mine nearly lost his life in '07 when involved in a motorcycle accident. The doctor's did not think he would make it through the night but he did. The doctor's did not think he would make it through a year, but he did. The doctor's never expected him to bodily function in a normal way again but after 3 years he is a walking miracle!
While recovering, his friends asked him if he would ever ride a motorcycle again. His response was, "After a car accident do you give up on cars? Are you going to go buy a horse and travel by horse everywhere you go?"
WOW!! That is an awesome response and he is so right! Likewise, even if you have been in marriage and it failed before...are you going to give up? I will never give up on marriage.
Just like God never gave up on US...lets never give up on HIM.

Then and Later

Well, we celebrated 4th of July this past weekend and with the Holiday came another celebration...my ex-husband re-married.

I happened to be going through some old photo's when I reviewed some Cd's that had been created for back-up and found many pictures from when he and I were married, including video's from Christmas.

Thinking...well isn't this just the perfect day to reminisce about old days as we say farewell permanently to a dissolved twelve year relationship?

I guess the most prominent photo that caught my attention is this one of Desiree when she was about 6 to 8 months old. It made me think of how different my life is now versus that time and how little time has actually passed since then as she is only 3 1/2 years old now.

When we brought Desiree home from the hospital she was transported by Chevrolet Tahoe to my dream home. A 3000 square foot log home with a wrap around front porch, two living areas, formal dining, 3 bedrooms and a bonus room. All on 3 acres in a country setting just off of a dirt road with horses pastures all about. The nursery was prepared, everything appeared in order.

Having formally separated shortly after this picture was taken, the girls and I relocated to the city where Ryan switched schools and we moved into a 1400 sqaure foot condo. Turning over the Tahoe, I purchased a small car.

The material pocessions relinquished, financial security banished, safety unsecured....it took a lot of courage to do what I did. Ultimately, sacrificing everything for peace in our home whether it be a mansion or a shack...peace is priceless.